Just to pass some time.

I'm terrible with priorities. Absolutely God-Awful. I can sit at my computer for hours and stare blankly at my facebook waiting for something to say something witty enough for me to "like" their status, yet when it comes to actually getting anything done, I'm an absolute lazy-arse. I think it has to do something with my indecisiveness. Whatever!

  I think the biggest part of me not being able to blog regularly is the fact that I don't think I'm interesting enough to write about. I've never done anything hugely exceptional, like ride my bike up a mountain, or cure disease or build a house. But there is something that I have all to myself, a quality that nobody else in the whole world has. I am me, and I actually love myself. I may be lazy and indecisive but I am also versatile! I can craft, and cook, and paint, create, wonder and just be! Plus, I'm happy doing just that.

I've recently started studying Taoism. It's full of beautiful principles to live by, and some of the most simply profound advice I've ever learned. The biggest thing about Taoism is everything I've read, I always kind of knew and believed.. I just never had a name to put to it.. It's actually surprisingly gratifying to be able to "put a name to the face", if you will.

But, I guess that's all for now!

“Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses.”

- Lao Tzu

It's been a while.

I never said I was any good at updating every day. Or month for that matter.

I haven't done anything creative or mentally stimulating, at all! Well, besides bringing my camera out every once and a while. I'm still trying to get my life back in order since I got laid off in December.

Have you ever lost something super close and dear to you that you just can't bear it? A close friend, or that special pair of earrings, things that you always think about and know you can never replace? It just holds a special place in your heart, and you know that no matter what you do you can never forget it. The harder you try to find that special thing and get it back, the more hopeless it becomes.. I feel this way right now, and it's kind of tearing me apart, but I know that I have to move on with my life. I have to stop trying so hard and things will eventually work out over time.

I've been having strange dreams lately. They're really vivid and detailed, but there's always something in the dream that just throws me off. In my latest dream, I find my way to this small villiage where there's some sort of self sacrifice ceremony taking place. People are confessing thet they've wronged themselves or another in some way, and basically line up to kill themselves. The villiagers who are not killing themselves are standing around, just watching. Nobody protests this strange act, and they all act as if it's the most normal thing they have ever seen. I ask somebody in the back of the crowd what is taking place and they explain that their Queen fled centuries ago because of her disgust with people's selfishness and indignant behaviours. They hope that in sacrificing themselves for harming others or their negativity that someday their Queen will return. I can't even believe the ignorance of the villiagers. Instead of making an active change to better themselves, they willingly kill themselves. Without thinking, I push my way through the crowd, and I shout for them to stop their foolish behavior. A man who is basically leading this mass suicide asks me what right I have to be intruding on their traditions as I'm "just an outsider". I start saying something in a foreign language that even I don't understand and everybody becomes silent. The man is shocked and his anger turns to worship. Apparently I had said something that was some proverb or it was fortold by mystics or soemthing that the Queen would recite when she returned. Some bowed to me and some people started crying, then a group of women ushered me to follow them. This group of women led me to this beautiful old mansion and took me to this room overlooking the town and started asking a million questions. All of which I didn't know the answer to, obviously. They dress me in these fancy clothes and take me to the town centre where there is a group of stately looking men. They tell me that they are pleased I have finally returned and and take me to this field where there are hundreds of dead bodies. They tell me they sacrificed themselves for hundreds of years so I would return, and I get really disgusted by this idea and turn away. I tell them that they must not hurt themselves to wait for some old stories to actually come true, that they must be the change they want to see. Then the town basically throws this huge carnival in my honour, and it takes place right near all these dead bodies and they all act as if they're not there. So I get all weirded out, becasue I don't know how I got to this town or who I really am. so I go back to this big mansion and these women are there waiting on me, and I tell them I don't know who I am or what I'm doing there, and I have to tell everybody I'm not their Queen. Some old woman basically says I'm good as dead if I do that, but I go ahead and do it anyways. So I have everyone gather and I tell them that I believe they should be good people and follow their hearts and not judge each other. It's basically this huge encourging monologue that I end up bawling in the middle of and telling them I'm not their Queen, at least, not that I know of. I totally expected to die next, but I guess my speech really got to them, and some people start telling me that only a true leader would say something like that and I'm like the encouraging voice they needed to affirm themselves, and if I wasn't sent to be their Queen, I had earned it or something... and then I woke up.

Weird, hey?

Anyways, that's all I have for now. Here's a quote and a photo I took today.

"In a gentle way you can shake the world." - Mahatma Gandhi

Some thoughts and a little blues.

So I'm not going to write too much, I have a pounding headache and a year's worth of homework!

I got glue on nails yesterday. So far, they're all still attached to my fingers. They're quite nice, I like the length and the strength of them.. I just don't want to paint them because it really shows they're artificial if I do that. I did fudge them up by using a strong acetone polish remover on them (I painted them and THEN realized how cheap they looked) and it peeled off some of the surface... even after some fresh topcoat and nail hardener they still look gross. Oh well.

  Finished the knitting part of the heart pillows last night! All I need to do is embroider them and they're done! I've really been itching to knit myself something big and pretty, i just don't think I've got the skill or patience yet. I have tons of sock weight yarn, I\m just terrified of knitting socks. I can't even finish mittens and have them the same size.. so socks would probably come out ten sizes differently!! *sigh*

  I've recently become infatuated with modern blues music. It has a relaxing, yet sexy sound to it and it just puts me in a happy place. Here are two of my current favourite songs.





"Baby Please Don't Go" - The Mason Rack Band

An Australian band my friend introduced me to a while ago. I love, love LOVE their sound and the fact that the three members are capable of playing all three instruments!




"Next Girl" - The Black Keys

This is a band I first head sitting on the patio of a local pub. A guest of my close friend referred to them as "country", which was in fact a horrible thing to say and not at all true. The video is apparently an attempt to get attention, but the song has so much meaning and power. Plus, I have a thing for white men who can sing.

Day II

Day two of many!

  I had an interview with the tourism company in town here. Pretty sure I got the job, but I could be wrong. To prepare for an interview I always make sure I ask myself "Would I hire me? Why or why not?" Today I felt as if I would hire myself. Not only because I knew I had the required skills neccesary for the job, but also because I feel positive, motivated and excited to work with a company that exposes me to the public. I applied fora position in the ticket office, but I think that my intrapersonal skills will get me a better position with the company. I can't say for sure, but I think it went well. She'll let me know by Thursday. 

  I'm halfway done knitting a project for my man for Valentine's day. I made him a heart shaped pillow in his favourite colour and I plan on writing "hers" on it and I am making one in purple for myself that will read "his". Cheesy, I know, but I think it's cute and sentimental. :)  I'll take some pictures when they're done.

  Other than that, I don't have a whole lot else to say right now. If I come up with anything I'll post it later.

 

"The spaces between your fingers were created so that another's could fill them in."

- Unknown

A title is harder to invent than the content.

I suppose you could say this is my first post. As you can see, it is. I mean, not my first post ever, but definitely my first post to this blog. 

  See, I`ve tried blogging in the past. Really, I have! It just.. never seemed to work. By that, I mean I could never conciously keep track of a blog or anything to write about for a period long enough to compile an interesting mix of entries. My ideas all pass through my own head too fast for me to even remember what they were about, much less write about them. By no means am I saying my ideas have no substance (that`s far from the truth), but simply I have a difficult time just "letting go"and letting my words have their own way of enticing and capturing the reader. 

  I`ll tell you a little about myself... I like to create and be inspired. I enjoy photographing the things we see most often but miss the beauty of.  I enjoy when science and logic are combined with a beautiful piece of literature, and I also enjoy simple things in life. I study Taoism. I enjoy architecture and nail polish. Knitting often serves as a simple, peaceful reflection time, as well as a meditation. My happy colour is somewhere in the spectrum between fuchsia and violet, but I love every colour! I like to be bold and beaming but retain a mysterious quality. Words and food are synonymous to me. They both fill that special part in my soul with the passion, substance and taste they contain. I enjoy warm beverages, big hearts and wise minds. 

 I hope you enjoy reading, and I would love to meet more friends! Follow me and I can't promise you a roller coaster ride of interesting, thought provoking blogs, but I can promise you I will be as openly honest, compelling and grammatically correct as I know how to be!

  I will end this post with a photograph and a quote.

 

Don't look where you fall, but where you slipped.  ~African Proverb